The "How to Tell If You're Australian" Quiz

1. In October 2004 a young woman was arrested in Denpasar, Bali, Indonesia for allegedly smuggling 4.2 kg of marijuana into that country on a commercial airline flight from her native Australia. On the face of it, this story


A. Is too commonplace to mention. Lots of people smuggle lots of drugs lots of places, you know? This is boring - change the channel

B. proves that Australian journalists don't like Indonesia and seize upon any pretext to make that country look bad. This is the first-ever case of anyone IMPORTING marijuana to Bali ( where it grows wild), but people are always being caught taking cocaine TO Colombia, and taking heroin to Afghanistan, and smuggling sand into Saudi Arabia - and none of those stories gets this kind of international attention.

C. has a certain "man bites dog" quality about it, since not only is this the wrong direction for smuggling, but marijuana hasn't been smuggled in commercial airline luggage since the 1970's. Other drugs have been, but mj is too bulky and too easily detected. However this just proves this woman is unusually stupid or was using her own product at the time. Although all her drug tests were clear.

D. Makes one, as Hercule Poirot would say, "furiously to think."

2. This young woman, Schapelle Corby of Queensland, had no criminal record and no financial means to purchase the drugs, worth an estimated $40,000 in Australia. This must mean her previous smuggling efforts were successful - amazingly so, since marijuana is sold for far less in Bali than its cost in Australia - but she must have made it profitable somehow. Or the Corby family grew their own, though an investigation by the Queensland police found nothing. Schapelle's job at her family's fish and chip shop was just cover for her nefarious deeds. An even better cover was this innocent-loking photo taken in Brisbane airport by her mother right before the fateful flight. We are looking at



A. A bunch of seemingly ordinary innocent tourists who were working with several governments to help conceal the truth about JFK and the Men in Black, and at this moment were blocking the view of an investigative reporter trying to photograph Elvis, who was slipping quietly away behind them.

B. A bunch of seemingly ordinary innocent tourists who understood the grave risks they were taking by smuggling drugs, but who could NOT stop Schapelle's Mum from following them everywhere with that bloody camera, photographing everything in sight. On a previous trip to the Gold Coast she ran around taking random snapshots out to sea yelling "THERE'S the Loch Ness Monster, duckie!" until they locked her in a portable toilet. She came SO close to blowing their cover here, but what could they do except stand close, smile big and try to look innocent and ordinary?

C. A bunch of seemingly ordinary innocent tourists who may not have been the sharpest quills in Queensland but did understand the importance of looking good at all times. "I may be thick as a plank, mate, but I know how to comb my hair and look cool before risking the death penalty in a foreign country" - that's a Queensland expression, or should be.

D. A bunch or ordinary, innocent tourists.

3. The marijuana was unconcealed in two transparent space bags, one inside the other, with the inner bag cut releasing the smell. The inner bag was never fingerprinted, authorities claiming that too many people had handled it - these guys, for example. Their careless handling indicates


A. There is a shortage of gloves in Bali.

B. It was Indonesia's Take Our Daughters To Work Day, and they had left their gloves at home in order to better hug their daughters.

C. They knew their superiors wouldn't care how they handled the bag, since Schapelle's fingerprints weren't on it and thus fingerprint evidence wouldn't matter. DNA-testing of the marijuana ( for country of origin and to see if Schapelle's hair fragments were in it, as they would have been if she had packed the bag) was never done either.

D. Wait a minute - how did they KNOW that Schapelle's fingerprints weren't on the bag, and that all these forensic tests, which should have been the strong point of their own case, weren't necessary?

4. Presiding Judge Linton Sirait had never found anyone innocent in 500 previous drug cases, not that that has anything to do with anything. In this photograph, he is

A. running his fingers over the space bag with a sense of wonder, fascinated by Australian plastics technology.

B. momentarily forgetting where he is and what he is doing, not realizing he is accidentally contaminating fingerprint evidence ( which everyone mysteriously knew wasn't necessary anyway).

C. carefully demonstrating to his countrymen how NOT to contaminate fingerprint evidence next time.

D. sending a not-so-subtle hint to the rest of the court that certain lines of inquiry would not be allowed in this case.

5. Schapelle's boogie board bag would have looked much different in Brisbane airport if it contained only her board and flippers as she claimed, or if it also held 4 kilos of marijuana. Security camera footage might have shown if her bag were thin or fat, instantly exonerating or condemning her. The camera footage somehow went missing from both Brisbane and Sydney airports ( where she changed planes) and from the customs check area in Denpasar as well. Schapelle's family and lawyers were given varying explanations at different times - the cameras were under repair, the footage had been wiped automatically after a set period of time, the cameras were only turned on if an "important person" was passing through the airport. What's going on here?

A. airport security? In this peaceful enlightened age, who worries about THAT any more? So someone accidentally left a hundred million dollar system that millions depend on turned off - so what?

B. It was International Take Our Daughters to Work So They Can Fix the Cameras Day, scrupulously observed in both countries.

C. It's not very nice to say so, but most of these security jobs are government make-work anyway. They take some bogan who would otherwise be on the dole for life and pay him a nice middle class salary to sit in a high booth in an airport with his finger hovering over the camera button, ready to turn them on if he sees anybody important. It's just Schapelle's bad luck that he didn't think SHE looked important, or that he had stepped out to the lavatory during the time she was passing through.

D. Holmes looked thoughtful. "I see, Watson. You are sketching out a theory by which everything they say from the beginning is false."

6. Many foreigners can barely find Australia on a map, rarely follow an Australian news story, and will judge that country solely on this case. That's no problem, since from the beginning Australia's leaders have risen to the occasion. In fact their character and conduct throughout this saga reminds you most of what famous foreign leader?

A. Nelson Mandela

B. Winston Churchill

C. Neville Chamberlain

D. Zaphod Beeblebrox

.

.

.

7. We are looking at

A. A master criminal who had one very unlucky day.

B. A silly girl who thought she could get away with an unprecedented, unheard of, impossible crime if she smiled big and strolled through customs whistling.

C. a woman covering for her guilty brother, who is a master criminal and would have gotten away with it if he had been in the lead - that transparent bag trick would have worked for him. She has been standing in for him uncomplainingly for five years, having never once thought of telling the truth and cutting a deal with the authorities.

D. An innocent caught in a calamity she doesn't understand or deserve but who has faced it with immense courage and dignity. A credit to her country and her faith. A Lady Guinevere for our time.

SCORING: If you bothered to finish the quiz and answered "D" more than twice, you are probably not an Australian. And that's unfortunate, since the facts of Miss Schapelle's case are not complicated and remain unchanged since the time of her trial when 95 percent of Aussies believed in her innocence. What has changed is public perception, fueled by the great cataract of media sensationalism, distortions and plain lies. The process by which a handful of media owners is able to turn public opinion against an obviously innocent woman as easily as turning a dial on a microwave is interesting, but would not work for a moment if people would look away from the tv and think for themselves. Fortunately for Schapelle's enemies, few Aussies are willing to argue with their television, and all are watching the same televised rubbish. One small problem with that, mate - Orstrayla is not the whole world. Far to the north where people walk around rightside up is a fat dumb happy place called A-mer-i-ca. This place is full of strange foreign folk with strange foreign accents who don't know vegemite from dolomite from kryptonite, but who recognize a glaring injustice when they see one and, once having met her, instinctively love your national daughter as much as you used to.

Co-lo-ra-do

In an obscure corner of this faraway foreign place is a nook called Co-lo-ra-do. John Denver used to yodel on and on about it. Here's a link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWU8XWksg_0

( Yeah, I know. A little of that goes a long way). But some parts of Colorado are worth yodeling about. For instance every year at a university in a city called Boulder - I am not making that name up - they hold something called the Conference on World Affairs.

http://www.colorado.edu/cwa/

The average Aussie has still not grasped why Schapelle's case is a world affair, but justice and honor are not one thing among crocodiles and kangaroos and another half a world away where the water goes down the drain in the other direction. Both our justice systems are copied from England - we are both heir to the tradition that there is a law above the king, a law above the temporary majority, a Divine justice above all human standards. Some of us, occasionally, remember.

Schapelle Corby is a permanent part of Australian history whether you like it or not.

Tara Hack's song and video for Schapelle is the first international protest ever on behalf of an Australian citizen.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uty_An8qx7M

Ganja Queen, a sensationalized but sympathetic documentary about Schapelle has been shown multiple times on on HBO, an American premium cable channel with a subscription audience larger than the population of Australia. This story is not going away. Schapelle's hard core supporters are not going away. Some Australian authorities wish this case would go away in the interest of better relations with Indonesia - you might tell them appeasement is not a viable long-term strategy -- ask 6C.


One more question:

All the uncertainties about this case make you want to

A. have another drink and change the channel.

B. spend a quarter to call one of the honorable journalists left in Australia and ask him to explain it to you.

C. spend fifty cents and call both of them.

D. take another look at the FACTS, without the media propaganda.

http://www.schapelle.net/

You will always have a home here too, gentle one. God grant you soon to find it.

Time Marches On...

A child believes twenty shillings and twenty years can scarce ever be spent.

-- Benjamin Franklin

The craft that we call modern,

The crimes that we call new,

John Bunyan had'em typed and filed

In Sixteen Eighty-two.

--- Rudyard Kipling

I must work the works of Him that sent me, while it is day; the night cometh, when no man can work.

--- John 9:4

Time and I against any other two.

--- Baltasar Gracian

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

--- National Lampoon

Jesus is coming - look busy!

--- marquee sign outside a Baptist church in ( where else) Tex-as

Do all the good you can,

By all the means you can,

In all the ways you can,

In all the places you can,

At all the times you can,

To all the people you can,

As long as ever you can!

--- John Wesley

Well true believers, it's that time of year again and this is the song that comes to mind.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mw2L70CO2EM


Yes, I am an old and sentimental rodent. No, they don't write songs like this any more. You young whippersnappers need to turn down that noise you are listening to, get out of debt, plant a garden, and make sure your skills are transferable. I can remember when men were real men, music was real music, and a trillion dollars was real money - and this economy is scary.







HAPPY NEW YEAR.
I HOPE YOU ARE AS EXCITED AS I AM.
GET READY TO DUCK.

The Friendly Beasts

Jesus our brother, kind and good
was humbly born in a stable rude
and the friendly beasts around Him stood.
Jesus our brother, kind and good.

I, said the donkey, all shaggy and brown
I carried His mother uphill and down.
I carried His mother to Bethlehem town.
I, said the donkey, all shaggy and brown.

I, said the cow, all white and red
I gave Him my manger for his bed.
I gave Him my hay to pillow his head.
I, said the cow, all white and red.

I, said the sheep with the curly horn
I gave Him my wool for a blanket warm.
He wore my coat on Christmas morn -
I, said the sheep with the curly horn.

I, said the dove, in the rafters high
I cooed Him to sleep, that He might not cry.
We sang Him to sleep, my mate and I
I, said the dove, in the rafters high.

Thus every beast, by some good spell
In the stable rude was glad to tell
Of the gift he gave Emmanuel -
the gift he gave Emmanuel.

--- The Friendly Beasts, 12th century traditional French/English Christmas carol



Thanksgiving Day is my family's big reunion holiday now, and I am having a subdued, understated, rather uninspired Christmas. Several people have told me they feel the same way - that they have had a hard time getting into the spirit of the season, or that this was the least Christmas-y they have ever felt, or that they are concentrating on making it meaningful for their children. Schapelle Corby is spending her fifth Christmas in a foreign jail cell for a crime she did not commit and says the day means little to her any more - she just wants to be home. With her whole life ( and her family's ) under the microscope of a sensationalist press, it is this sort of refreshing honesty that both shows her strength and continues to endear her to her supporters. From the beginning of her ordeal she has refused to be put on a pedestal or a poster and has defiantly been herself - when she feels frightened, or feels bitter, or feels nothing, she says so. With all the carols I've heard this year I recall one in particular, one I first associated with Schapelle in Christmas 2005 and which has haunted me off and on ever since. Lyrics above - sorry no audio link - I like Peter Paul and Mary's version so much better than any I could find on youtube that I prefer not to post an inferior recording - but other versions are available on YT if you do not know the tune. The song to me has a melancholy air that was likely not intended by the original writer, who probably considered it reverent or restful. Its twin themes - that the proper spirit of giving considers all our gifts to others as offered unto the Lord, and that God accepts the gifts we are able uniquely to give, however humble - match the true meaning of Christmas and resonate with many other carols. I do remember the song vaguely from my own 12th century childhood, though exactly why I came to associate it with Schapelle, and with the joys and frustrations common to her supporters, I am not sure.

I, said the donkey all shaggy and brown / I carried his mother uphill and down... I have more admiration for Schapelle's mother Rosleigh, and Alan Hodgson's ( he is imprisoned in Ghana on a charge equally as ridiculous) mother Shirley, than for anyone else involved in either story. I cannot begin to imagine what it is like for them , any more than I can grasp how Mary felt at the first Christmas. Imagine being told the most incredible news, by an angel no less, and then getting an arbitrary notice from a bureaucratic government ( plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose) informing you that you are herewith ordered to report to your hometown for a census ( all the better to tax you with, my dear) and that transport and accomodations are your own problem. We understand now the divine humility in the circumstances of Christ's birth, but it cannot have made much sense to the people involved at the time. Almost the first thing the holy family had to do after arriving at Bethlehem was run away to Egypt, to avoid King Herod's no child left behind initiative. Rosleigh Rose has had to sit through numerous court appearances in which the judges ignored real evidence such as fingerprints and DNA testing for the origin of the drugs, and concentrated on side issues and gibberish. She has had to watch as her daughter was manhandled by the guards and mobbed by the press, and to have her own life invaded and investigated ad nauseum by journalists with their own agenda, who look into Schapelle's eyes and see dollar signs. She has kept an amazing dignity throughout, exhibiting what Chesterton called "the maternal watch which is as old as the world" and defiantly trumpeting Schapelle's obvious innocence to anyone who will listen. The most famous and touching photograph in the entire Corby saga shows Schapelle and Rosleigh cheek to cheek, shot right after the first verdict when Schapelle tried to comfort her mother as her own world fell apart, telling her everything was ok when so clearly it was not. We follow Schapelle's lead in thinking of her mother first, and all our efforts are offered to her.

I, said the cow all white and red/ I gave him my hay to pillow His head.... One of the worst aspects of Schapelle's ordeal has been trying to sleep in a cell with as many as 12 other women, amid the noise and the smells and the temperatures routinely over 100 degrees F. For a long time she was allowed no mattress and slept on a mat, reading her letters late into the night and dozing fitfully, clutching a battery powered fan. More recently she has become acclimated to the heat and ( as senior prisoner in her cell - which leads to another level of bitterness about the arbitrary nature of "justice" over there, but never mind) she was given the corner bed, and she has trained herself to sleep 9 hours a night when she wants to. Meanwhile her indifferent nation sleeps just fine, reclining on its overstuffed couch in front of "reality tv" while openly and derisively wondering "Why are there still articles about Schapelle? Why don't we hear more about [ celebrity-airhead-of-the-month] instead?"

I, said the sheep with the curly horn / I gave Him my wool to keep Him warm/ He wore my coat on Christmas morn... In the Shawshank Redemption, Red recalls that Andy Defresne strolled around the prison yard like a man in a park, "as if he had on an invisible coat that could shield him from this place" - we who love Schapelle have wished that for her from the beginning, trying to weave her such a coat with our love and our letters, our parcels and prayers. I remember a strange headline some time ago in the sensationalist press saying "Schapelle wants to be a mummy" - my American bias led me at first to a different interpretation than that intended by the genius who wrote it, who meant that she wanted to be a mother someday. In our colonial version of English we say mom, not mum, for mother and only children under six say mommy. In Americanese a mummy is something wrapped in bandages in an Egyptian tomb - and if Schapelle wanted to be one it must mean she wanted an insulating layer between her and her surroundings, wanted to simply hibernate until the nightmare is over. She cannot do that of course, nor can we - it is a constant uphill struggle, as if we were wandering through an overcast and trackless desert. The landscape is illuminated occasionally by the appearance of wonderful new supporters, seemingly out of nowhere - but there are no landmarks and no way to see the end of the journey. One of our most dedicated supporters said his Christmas wish this year was for three wise men - one each in Bali, Jakarta and Canberra [ the Australian capital ]. There is no way to know when this wish will be granted, but we keep on because Schapelle's stated greatest fear is that she might be forgotten, and each of us purposes quietly in his own heart that that will never happen, not on my watch.

I, said the dove in the rafters high / I cooed Him to sleep, that He might not cry... This is probably the line that for me connected the song to Schapelle. We supporters have spent countless lonely hours praying for her and crying for her, as if we could stop her tears with our own. In her book she tells the touching story of her earliest days in the holding cell at Polda, when other inmates in cells across the hall would hear her crying at night and sing to her to comfort her. More recently Tara Hack's song and video for Schapelle, beautiful in its simplicity, has brought tears and inspiration to her supporters like nothing else. "Welcome to Indonesia, where they're always glad to see ya, / and they show their appreciation / by giving you a permanent vacation / just ask Schapelle" ... that sort of blunt sarcasm sums it up nicely for her supporters, and Schapelle herself would not mind, as she was famously quoted in a moment of desperate humor as saying "this is the WORST vacation I have ever had!" She is less bitter than you would believe possible, saying merely that she loves her family, still loves Bali and its people, and prays for her fellow prisoners and guards.

in the stable dark was glad to tell / of the gift he gave Emmanuel... Emmanuel - God with us. The God Who is There, as Francis Schaeffer called Him, and who has never left Schapelle, no matter how many opportunistic, shallow, fly-by-night supporters have done so. The God who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, ( Eph. 3:20) who can replace the bitterness in my own heart about all this with heaven's peace. Meanwhile we supporters are stuck shouting into the wind, to a media that won't print our letters and a public that won't look past the end of their pointed little noses, repeating the same dull unvarnished truth while her detractors are free to invent the most extravagant lies. But I am not in despair, because the truth cannot remain hidden forever. The case against Schapelle DOES NOT MAKE SENSE and never has done, and no amount of under-carpet-sweeping by a pusillanimous government and lapdog media can long hide the sun.


Miss Schapelle, may the God of all comfort lead you out of the dark oppressive night you are in and into Bethlehem's sunrise, this coming year. "Arise, shine; for your light has come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon you " ( Isa. 60:1) Legend has it that the teenaged St. Patrick, captured and enslaved as a child by the Irish he would later evangelize, spent years in desperate prayer and hope, then suddenly one night was told by God in a dream "arise, your ship is waiting" - and walked across Ireland unmolested until he reached the boat that would carry him home. I believe it will happen that fast for you also, and we'll be here until then. See you in the morning.

She's Ours Too!

Dedicated to my friend and countrywoman Carina

With admiration and respect

Fellow citizens: clouds and darkness are around about Him; His pavilion is dark waters and thick clouds of the skies. Justice and judgement are the establishment of His throne. Mercy and truth shall go before His face. Fellow citizens! God reigns, and the government at Washington still lives!

- future President James A. Garfield, quieting an angry crowd after the death of Lincoln

I fear all we have done is to awaken a sleeping giant, and fill him with a terrible resolve.

-- Admiral Yamamoto, after Pearl Harbor

It's our birthday, and we'll bitch if we want to!

- dedicated supporter Karen, after hearing once too often that there are too many American pro-Schapelle comments on Australian online message boards

God gives all men all earth to love
But since man's heart is small
Ordains for each, one spot shall prove
Beloved over all.

--Rudyard Kipling



The game is afoot, Watson! An encouraging development in the ongoing Schapelle Corby saga occured when HBO aired the Australian documentary "Ganja Queen" in this country. This has caused among other things a sudden upsurge of visitors to this site, some of whom actually came here on purpose. Already the monthly gathering of loyal R.M. readers has had to stop meeting in a phone booth and move to an elevator, and if this goes on we may have to rent a coat closet. But there are important consequences as well. HBO claims a subscription audience larger than the population of Australia, and Americans approach this story with none of the negative press baggage attached to it downunder by the tabloids. This is only the second time to my knowledge that a major media outlet of ours has picked up this story at all, so many of us are hearing about Schapelle for the first time and instinctively feeling about her the way Australians used to feel. As heir to the genuinely free and pluralistic traditions of my country, this American libertarian rodent can burrow in on Independence Day to an Australian support forum, while watching an English tennis tournament, eating Belgian chocolate, and listening to a patriotic overture written by a Russian -- not to mention quoting a British imperialist, who, whatever his other limitations may have been, DID understand loyalty and honor.

God gives all men all earth to love... It must have seemed that way to the early settlers of both our countries, to leave Europe with its crowds and petty quarrels and arbitrary laws, to risk everything for a second chance in an unknown continent where you could be out of sight of hunman habitation for days. Australia and America were both settled largely by the despised and dispossessed, ignored or written off in their homelands. Our free and egalitarian traditions stem from our belief in a God who is no respecter of persons, and from our experience of an unrelenting wildnerness that certainly is not either. In both countries our tradition of respect for the underdog gives us an instinctive sympathy for a young woman whose only crime was not putting a lock on her luggage, caught up in a nightmare she doesn't deserve or understand. Most of us in both places are the descendants of people who, like the Corby's, were working class and unpolished and would have looked awkward on television. This story resonates very well here in America -- to us the Corby's instantly look genuine, the official story instantly looks false, and we instinctively ask the questions we're not supposed to ask. What happened to the security camera footage in all three airports? Why was the bag not fingerprinted? Why should we believe anything from a "justice" system where the police are known to plant drugs on people to extort bribes, and where a judge proudly says he has never found anyone innocent in 500 cases? Was the marijuana ever in Australia? With all forensic tests refused during the trial and all the physical evidence destroyed afterwards, how would we know?

But since man's heart is small... true, in more ways than one. We Schapelle supporters have heard our motives questioned countless times by her detractors, who claim we have been caught up in media-driven sensationalism. Actually the huge groundswell of support in the early days after Schapelle's arrest was grassroots and spontaneous, with the media circus jumping on board later. But regardless of timing we are told we support her only because she is young and white and beautiful, with derisive questions about what if she were old and male and ugly. It is a valid point - but the question has even more force the other way round. If we cannot love the so easily lovable and guard the so obviously innocent, what will we do with God's command to love our enemies, or how will we handle real moral ambiguities? The most common American reaction to the HBO special is "this story broke my heart." If that is all it does and our commitment does not outlast our emotion, the cynics can feel justified. As C. S. Lewis said once, "The more often he feels without acting, the less he will ever be able to act, and, in the long run, the less he will be able to feel." But the Americans posting on our support forum are not describing their feelings only, they are asking what they can do - where to write to Schapelle, what to send her, which Australian politicians to write to. Some of them even say... and I gulp as I write this, and it flattens my fur and curls my tail, but desperate times call for desperate measures... they do say, some of them, that Schapelle's case has upset them so much that they will dare invoke the name that is death to utter, that they will tell O-P-R-A-H W-I-N-F-R-E-Y. If you thought HBO's audience was large...

Ordains for each, one spot shall prove..

I have appreciated ny own "spot" much more since taking an interest in this case, far away from the maddening crowds, the noise and pollution, the infuriating propaganda, far away from... from everything, actually. "We ain't friendly here, just lonesome" as the saying goes. Few people, lots of cows, lots of time to think and to consider the advantages of being a foreign Schapelle supporter. For one thing it is easier to write letters from here. I can drivel along endlessly about my mountains without making her miss her beach more than she already does, and can tell her stories she has not heard of our wild bristly local pigs and wild bristly local politicians. But it is also socially less risky. In Australia calling yourself a Schapelle supporter generates "knowing" looks from your co-workers, and putting a Free Schapelle! sticker on your car can bring honks and rude comments from other drivers. The smear campaign against her in the Australian media has been astonishing. There are ugly rumors that there are two different versions of the documentary; that the Australian one is slanted more against the Corby family than the one shown here. Some people apparently believe you can pay almost anyone to say almost anything about the Corby's and the Australian public will either lap it up or say "We're tired of this story, change the channel. " Then suddenly the whole story goes across the ocean and out of range of their propaganda, reaching an audience whos opinions they can't influence and whose channels they can't change, an audience who instantly recognizes Schapelle's innocence and is outraged at her treatment. Are there Australian media producers right now expressing their misgivings, like Yamamoto's, a little late?

...beloved over all. Australia, what do you love? What happened to the tradition of mateship and the "fair go" for everyone, or is that just in the movies? What do you fear - looking foolish, showing emotion, loving your national daughter too much? Is that worse than loving her too late? I can remember reading about the early days of the court coverage, Australians' open defiance of Asian criticism of Schapelle's tears in the courtroom, saying she's ours, and we support our own, and yes we DO show emotion in public. What happened to THAT Australia? In our jaded entertainment culture have you "seen through" justice and honor? Are you proud of your cynicism, and expecting America to share it? Were we supposed to look through Schapelle and see whatever ironic point you thought you were making? Sorry, we look AT her and see Lady Guinevere, and see a monstrous injustice for what it is. Our famously narrow focus, provincial outlook and short attention spans all work in favor of Schapelle and against her detractors. We're narrowly focused on the main issue - the blatantly unfair trial; our short attention spans don't leave room for the cataract of lies and hate her detractors try to counter the facts with, and our provincialism simply puts THIS particular Aussie story on center stage. Schapelle is not merely the largest Australian news story in this country; she is the only one - and we won't forget her again. To quote from a musical most Aussies would not recognize but we simple Americans would know, '''smoke on your pipe and put THAT iiinnn.... I like to be in A-mer-i-ca /O.K. by me in A-mer-i-ca..." OK by me, too.

Miss Schapelle, may you find your rest in Christ and may your earthly path lead you here, where underdogs are respected, where fragile things are loved, and where no one will ask you what your economic background is or how good your family looks on television. No worries, mate -- no one will find you here, as even other Americans don't know what country New Mexico is in. God will see you safe, we will see you home. You are loved much more than you know.

Book Review: No More Tomorrows, by Schapelle Corby and Kathryn Bonella

Phill, Garth - thanks for the book, friends.

I have been young and now am not too old
and I have seen the righteous man forsaken
his health, his honour and his quality taken.
That is not what we were formerly told.
--Edmund Blunden

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock
that shadows a dry thirsty land
He hideth my life in the depths of his love
and covers me there with his hand
and covers me there with his hand.
--traditional hymn

I am determined to keep mind, body and soul healthy. I don't know how long I'll be waiting for my day in court but I will not cause more anxiety, stress and pain to the people who love me and are doing everything they can to help me. I will never be able to repay or thank them enough, so I'll start with respect. RESPECT." -- Schapelle Corby, diary entry 4 November 2004

I'll start there, too. With RESPECT. Respect for a support community begun in Schapelle's homeland and still distnctively Australian but which has expanded to welcome foreigners like me, illuminating Schapelle's 'bloody long tunnel' for as long as it takes. Respect for Schapelle's incredible family, standing by her through the storm, enduring with equal graciousness the trickle of government support and the cataract of media sensationalism. Respect for her co-author, journalist Kathryn Bonella, who does her job only too well - keeping her own personality in the background and leaving no barrier between us and Schapelle, experiencing her story in linear time as if we are staring out through the bars of Kerobokan Prison with her. Respect most of all for the gallant and gentle one herself, daring all to tell her story before it is finished, allowing us to see her vulnerability while seemingly unaware of her strength.

Different people have different reactions to a book like this of course; I have had supporters tell me they read it almost in one sitting and others who said they had to put it down for days at a time, both of which I completely understand. For a book so unavoidably harrowing in parts that before two Aussie friends sent it as a gift I had tried to avoid reading it at all, my own first impression was how understated it seemed. The endless catalog of horrors is treated unflinchingly but with with no more detail than is needed to make it clear; there is no sensationalism for its own sake. There are some awful descriptions of the unhygienic conditions everywhere at Kerobokan, from baby rats in her shoes to carelessness with sanitary napkins by her cellmates to the toxic mosquito infested pool she was sometimes made to clean as punishment, but she describes her reactions honestly and matter-of-factly and moves on. The book is not a long argument for her ( obvious) innocence. You could fill several pages outlining the many UN criminal code violations in Schapelle's show trial and some intrepid supporters have done so, but Schapelle spends a few paragraphs highlighting the obvious idiocies in the prosecution's case, and the failure to do the most elementary tests, and leaves it at that.

Schapelle's story is her own and people who wish to cast her as Nelson Mandela or Joan of Arc will be disappointed. She is not the poster girl for Australia, or injustice, or Christianity. You can sense her exasperation at attempts to idealize her in her caption to one photo showing her crying in a holding cell - "I'm not praying. I really don't have anywhere else to put my hands - they're cuffed." Her reticence concerning her faith is explained partly by the people who attended church with her only for the opportunity to get a covert cell phone camera shot which they could sell, or of the prison pastor who baptized her in jail and then rushed to sell the story to the newspapers. Her real and deep commitment however is shown by her diary entry describing the "bashing" by the guards of an American prisoner caught trying to escape and her attempts to help " ...they won't let Gabriel go to a hospital...I went back to my section and paid the guard to use her mobile - with a friendly smile I told her I was calling my sister. I quickly told Merc what was happening and to call the Australian consulate and the Red Cross...couldn't sleep at all, spent the night crying and praying. The next morning I found out that Gabriel had stitches. He's now in isolation - the tower of the bombers. I went to church . Walking past the tower I yelled out, 'Thinking about you and praying for you." She describes the endless betrayals and apparent friendships of those who wished to profit from her misery with less bitterness than we would believe possible, even with a sort of desperate humor. Her chapter on her self-described "white knight" celebrity supporters ( cell-phone businessmen from Australia who invited themselves into her life, supposedly to help) reads like a poorly written and abandoned script for Twilight Zone. The reader stares in stark incredulity as Schapelle describes the endless pressure and the ridiculous demands - she had to explain to them that (1)she did not wish to write a song about her experiences (2)she was not amused by letters to the Australian Prime Minister and Indonesian President, published in the newspaper as being from her, which she did not write but suspected them of writing, for more publicity, and (3) she did not wish to sign an agreement giving them half the royalties from the presumed eventual book/movie about her life. With "friends" like that, you can't blame Schapelle for being reluctant to trust people. You wonder, rather, why she talks to anyone outside her family at all.

Schapelle throughout does not pretend to be strong when she isn't or to understand when she doesn't. Her description of one act of kindness at the interim holding prison at Polda, beautiful in its simplicity, shows her quiet courage and unassuming character as well as anything can. I'll quote it in full because once we leave the quick summary of her happy childhood in the early chapters, this is the only soft oasis for the reader to land in a book that is otherwise almost all nightmare, all inferno.

"Very early one morning a guard came and unlocked my cell door. I warily jumped up and stood in the middle of my cell, confused, wondering what he wanted. I let out a wary hello. Then he said, 'Come, Come look at the sky.' He was pointing to the cage door that led to the outside world. I jumped at the chance and rushed over with a huge smile on my face. It gave me such a calm feeeling to look up at the vast blue sky. How nice of the guard to offer me this. It was beautiful. As I walked back to my cell, tears were streaming down my face. I hadn't seen the stars and moon for so long, but it was amazing to see the early morning sky. Little things had become so precious."

photo by jhuff6 at flickr.com,

used with her kind permission

We are left with the image not of a saint or a symbol but an individual, precious in God's sight and loved for who she is. In our instant gratification , "this-is-boring -let's -change-the-channel culture, the book strikes an awkward note. We are waiting for the happy ending, the neat little wrap-up at the end. But this monstrous injustice is still going on, and we serious supporters are in a constant struggle against the bitterness like that in the top quote in this post ( Blunden was describing World War One, in which he had fought at the front) , and in a continuous effort to keep our energy focused, our anger controlled, our tears silent. Those of us who have followed this case online from the beginning ( Oct. 8, 2004) lor like me from the first verdict ( May 27, 2005) are in awe of Schapelle's own faith and courage, and the dedication of her stronger supporters, like the strongest one pictured below. Some new Americans on the support forum have said they have had trouble following this case in the news ( unsurprising in this the most provincial country on earth, with the world's shortest attention span) and were unpleasantly surprised to learn how little has changed in four years. For them and for all other men of goodwill who have never heard of Schapelle, there is no better introduction than her book.

Alan Hodgson, Innocent Welshman in Ghana

Remember that British sci fi series Dr Who? In which "the doctor" has to fly his tardis ( time and relative dimension in space - it's quite roomy inside but outside looks just like a phone booth - pardon me, a call-box) back from interesting alien time through various epochs of boring earth time, dodging cheap special effects and being attacked by mind-bogglingly dull robots? My Welsh friend Alan can do that sort of thing too, apparently - it's the only explanation for his current situation. Before he became interested in time travel Alan was an ordinary village lad in Carway, Carmarthenshire, Wales. Wales is a beautiful but strange place to a rural American rodent, a place with plenty of sheep but a desperate shortage of vowels, the birthplace of Richard Burton, Tom Jones, Charlotte Church, a place filled with dark, brooding castles ( like Kidwelly Castle in Carway, pictured) and the dark, brooding women who have to clean them. Alan was a carpenter for his village council from the time he was 16 until a medical retirement in his 40's. In 2003 he was looking into the possibility of some light work for his uncle Kevin Gorman's fishing company in Ghana. Unfortunately uncle Kevin was casting his nets for other things besides fish - as he explained to Ghanaian authorities, he was offered 50,000 pounds sterling to "look after some boxes" but had "no idea" what they contained. The police understandably found this unlikely. The boxes had been unloaded onto a beach on December 31, 2003 and contained a large amount of cocaine. They were found concealed behind a mirror in Gorman's home in a police raid. A housemaid claimed she saw Alan walking back from the beach on the 31st, quite extraordinary since his stamped passport clearly shows he entered the country a few days later on January 3. See? No problem. Just like Dr. Who. Or like that young lady named Bright /whose speed was much faster than light /she set out one day, in a rel-a-tive way/ and returned the previous night. It seems the authorities got overzealous and swept up everyone remotely connected with Kevin Gorman, and in fact two other men arrested at the same time despite a similar date discrepancy were released on appeal. Alan however has had lawyer difficulties ( though he is happy with his new lawyer) and the bureaucracy in Ghana grinds along very slowly. In the meantime the sentence is twenty years.

Alan and his son in happier times on the family farm and vacationing in Spain, about ten years ago.

Twenty years in an overcrowded third world prison for a drug crime he didn't do, while he waits out a seemingly endless appeal cycle - to a Schapelle Corby supporter this is all so horribly familiar. I know about Alan'a case because my support for Schapelle led me to the Nick Baker support site ( Nick is home now, praise God! ) and in December 2005 Nick's mother Iris opened her heart and her son's support forum to Alan's mother Shirley. Alan has a much smaller support base than Schapelle and anyone who writes him and/or sends a care package has a high likelihood of getting a personal response, though maybe not right away - you have to allow for the vagaries of what Alan calls "pigeon post."Alan has spent the last several months in the infirmary with spinal arthritis and is having a really hard time. The address is

Dr. Dyer - for Alan Hodgson

Box 1766

Community 1

Tema, Ghana

Alan insists that Wales is not so bad, brooding castles or not, and that they have pubs there where you can play darts or "snooker," whatever THAT is. He says the movie Twin Town (1997) explains it all. It is long past time he was back there. The address given is that of a family friend who visits Alan once a month at Nsawam Medium Security Prison where he is held. Care packages are opened before they reach him ( standard practice) but his detailed letters to me indicate that he has safely received everything I've sent. Alan has to pay for some of his food so basic easily mailed food items are ideal, but you can send anything you would send to a prisoner anywhere else ( no weapons, alcohol, etc.) Alan likes football ( what we Yanks call soccer; he supports Manchester United) and was a near-professional darts player when he was younger. Just a regular guy caught in a "wrong place, wrong time" situation - but he has been there for over 4 years.

Kidwelly Castle in Carway, a few miles from Alan's home

May God bring all our Innocent Ones home.

We're Still Here

But I refuse to let this place break my spirit. I use all my energy and willpower to pull myself back together. I forcibly replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Staying sane really does take a lot of energy, but I have to, out of respect for those who love me.

-- Schapelle Leigh Corby





In War : Resolution
In Defeat : DEFIANCE
In Victory: Magnanimity
In Peace : Goodwill

-- Winston Spencer Churchill




It is one thing to fool the people and quite another to keep them fooled in perpetuity.

- - DJW, Schapelle supporter



The English people are not good haters, their memory is very short... to twentieth-century political theories thay oppose not another theory of their own, but a moral quality which must be vaguely described as decency. On the day in 1936 when the Germans reoccuppied the Rhineland I was in a northern mining town. I happened to go into a pub just after this piece of news, which quite obviously meant war, had come over the wireless, and I remarked to the others at the bar, "The German army has crossed the Rhine." With a vague air of capping a quotation someone answered "Parley-voo." No more response than that! Nothing will ever wake these people up, I thought. But later in the evening, at the same pub, someone sang a song which had recently come out, with the chorus:


For you can't do that there 'ere,
No you can't do that there 'ere;
Anywhere else you can do that there,
But you can't do that there 'ere!

And it struck me that perhaps this was the English answer to fascism.

-- George Orwell, 1943





On March 28 the Indonesian Supreme court refused to grant Schapelle a judicial review, ending her last formal appeal. Officially the twenty year sentence ( less remissions) stands unless she is granted a presidential pardon, which would require admitting guilt. ( She has from the beginning refused to do so, and the Indonesian president has made a point of stating he would not pardon drug criminals). Knowing the nature of the Indonesian "justice" system, nearly everyone who has kept up with the case on the support forums expected this yet it is still a shock. I guess I vaguely thought the judicial review results would be delayed indefinitely for political reasons. There was nothing to review, really. No new evidence of the non-existent Corby drug gang ( which is known to be non-existent by Australian law enforcement, who did not search the Corby's home or do any serious investigating), no new information on Schapelle's supposed contacts in Indonesia ( or was she planning to sell the marijuana herself on Bali's beaches crawling with local drug-dealing cops who would have arrested her within 5 minutes), nothing new regarding security lapses in Australian airports ( the latest official word is that the airport cameras aren't switched on except when officials see a "person of interest" - say WHAT?). What physical evidence there was was burned after a previous appeal, which is standard procedure in Indonesia. A judicial review is supposed to review the proceedings of the court itself - not much to review there either in a country where the courts are essentially a rubber-stamp for the police. Justice Linton Sirait had never found anyone innocent in 500 previous drug cases, ( actually rumor has it he has never found anyone innocent of ANYTHING ). The joke told by those who know about the Indonesian system is that their courts are there to separate the guilty from the very guilty, with only the severity of sentence being really in doubt. The prosecutors in fact seemed strangely uninterested in their own case, not doing the most elementary tests which might prove her guilt. For example

• Fingerprinting is standard in any such case; the explanation of why it was not allowed was that too many others, particularly the police in the airport had handled the bag. This is nonsense, of course - modern techniques could separate Schapelle's prints from the large number of others - and who told the police to handle it without gloves anyway?

• DNA-testing is similarly not difficult in this day and age - if Schapelle had packed the drugs tiny fragments of her hair would be embedded and identifiable, but no such test was done. DNA-testing would certainly have shown country of origin and other characteristics of the mj, something which ought to have been of interest. Remember this is the first ever drug IMPORT case to Indonesia from Australia, a country not previously listed as a source for drug smuggling. As it stands there is nothing to disprove the ( quite plausible ) theory that the marijuana was from Indonesia not Australia and that corrupt officials there planted it themselves.

• Schapelle supposedly said "the drugs are mine" after her bag was searched at customs. No one would admit that under those sircumstances, even if he were guilty. Pleading guilty to get a reduced sentence is what you do in court later - all real criminals give the same amazed "how'd THAT get in there?" explanation when first caught. What Schapelle actually said of course was that the boogie board bag was hers. The customs officer did not speak English well and there was no real attempt to test his language competency or question him closely about his mistaken quote.




• Speaking of which, the three judges also do not speak English and didn't bother with a translator for Schapelle's last court statement before the first verdict. Not that they needed to, with a previous 500 cases+ perfect record. If everyone standing before you is guilty, what difference does it make what they say or in what language? Presumably Indonesia has something like the infallible pre-cogs in that Minority Report movie, and they really ought to share the secrets of police perfection and judicial omniscience with the rest of the world.

This is not an exhaustive list, but you get the idea.


The mood on the official support forum is shocked ( "gobsmacked" is the Australian word?) but grimly determined. I ntellectually we expected this, but "the heart has its reasons which reason does not know" (Pascal). This affair serves as an indictment of our entertainment culture and the shallowness of public opinion, 95% believing her innocent three years ago because she is young and beautiful ( she looks innocent, so she must be) and many willing to abandon her now for the same reason ( she looks innocent, but the Australian government failed to meaningfully protest her blatantly unfair trial, so she must be hiding something). But entertainment culture has its limits. You can get bored and change the channel, but reality has a way of pulling the plug. Priorities change, alliances shift, today's political expediency becomes inexpedient tomorrow - long before the end of her awful sentence the Indonesians will find a reasson for a new investigation/review/whatever and release her. In the long run you really CAN"T "do that there 'ere, " and the essential gentleness and decency which Orwell saw in the English will prevail in Australia as well. And on THAT day the people who change their opinions as easily as their socks will suddenly remember that they, too believed in Schapelle's innocence all along. It is the task of the support group to stay strong and grow gradually until then.











This is the preferred strategy of the Australian government and most of the Australian people regarding Schapelle's case. It won't work long term.











The truth will out sooner or later, Indonesian authorities will "discover" anomalies in her trial, and Schapelle will come home. On that great gettin' up mornin', what will you wish you had done now? Schapelle needs our encouragement, now more than ever.

Miss Schapelle Corby
C/-LPM Kerobokan JI

Tangkuban Perahu Kerobokan

Denpasar 80117
Bali, INDONESIA